Why this...?

Some times the world may see me as a 'problem-less' guy, but they never know my inner reactions. Some times words may come out with a sweeter voice but my heart may feel the thorn's prick. Though my outer world seems to be happy, some silence in my inner world, some strange feelings will always be there.

Am I missing something or someone? ...

Yes, I'm missing someone. The absence of that person does not show on my outer face; it remains to be happy always but my heart feels the pain of that absence. It always makes my inner self cry to see all these doors leading to my salvation close one by one. It creates more and more distance with that person everyday and leaves me alone with no one to blame.

I have no idea how to overcome this feeling, even though I knew these things are not real; my heart can't survive them. I feel that everyone's inner self is not what we see of them on the outside. Everyone may or may not have such feelings, but I do.

I don't know how I'm going to be in the future, but I cannot change the past; I cannot change my future since it seems to be an one way road. I have little choice but to face these problems. Though my heart beats as normal as everyone, every single heart beat seems to be killing me.

Somethings we can share with friends, some with family and some with our life partner; but somethings we cannot share with anyone. Many a times, I felt it will be good if what I desired happened but now I feel why it happened for it is hard to survive these stings of thorns in my heart. I would have been happy if those things did not happen. Who knows I may feel the same in some other way.

Anyway I got used to live with this pain for almost last five years, I don't know how long it will be. Sometimes I may think why these things not happen to others, why only me... why this...

I didn't find any reasons, but I'm not willing to know them too...

why this...?

Surprised Saturday Shopping!

Saturday evening, pleasant climate, my friend called up and we had a plan for shopping, it was nice. Within few minutes I got ready to go, I noticed that need to fill the fuel for my two wheeler when it was start, after filled up, I was start to ride my bike without knowing that surprise, my friend and me were met in one place.

It was T.Nagar(Thiyagaraya Nagar/Mambalam), very crowed place always, heavy traffic, it was Diwali festival season too. We didn't find any places for parking, finally I thought to park my vehicle in a specified place, its safe, no tow and no risk since its a paid parking place :)

It took nearly one and half an hour to reach there from my home. Then we went to 'khadims' shop to buy some shoes, but we didn't find anything up to our taste. So we left that shop and tried to cross the road, it was heavy crowed, traffic police were navigate the vehicles and we were wait until our turn to cross the road.

We went to 'Pothys' shop to buy some dresses, we had to go to the fourth floor, oh my God! heavy crowed in that shop too. We went to fourth floor by steps :( . Then started to search some dresses, first one was a trouser, we got a nice one, then we moved to another side of that floor, suddenly I felt that something is going to happen, my old friend was crossing me without knowing that I was there, I SURPRISED, I said "HELLO" with a louder voice, he stunned and turned around me, what a surprise? :) we didn't met; It was hardly seven years, then we spoke for few minutes since its heavy crowed place. I was so happy to met him in that place. We shared some of our old days memories!

Then we got back to home with a happy and peace of mind!

My first working experience!

I thought to write a crispy and short note, I believe it will not makes you boring.

Three years, it has been a very memorable time in my life, I never thought that I will be in the IT industry until I got my first offer! actually I was a fresher, new place, new people, new environment...

Cool friends and colleagues, nice project... what I learned was more than what I worked in project, it was more than 30 members team, project was under tremendous pressure, but we worked together in a way that we never felt the pressure. Out of 30 members team we were 7 people very closer, were everyone called us 7 stars.

Some times we stayed very late night and had dinner, we made order and had in office cafeteria, went to home by private cabs, it was very funny days.

Some times we had parties in some hotels and we were together to celebrate. If any one's marriage from our team, even in the out station, we were together to celebrate.

We went to OOTY as occasion, we were enjoyed our trip and those days are never forgettable!

Even some times we went to talkies to watch some movies.

Dec 2006 Christmas celebration, a game has been introduced in the company, on last day of the game, each one suppose to be perform anything like acting, singing a song or dancing. I can't perform these things, but I thought to sing a song, its very old song and my favourite too - "KAN PONA POAKILE...". That was my first time ever in my life singing a song.

Those days are never forgettable.

What we need!

What we need in this life, are we looking for the life which has nothing but the success and there is no word to mean the failure?, If we look for this, we will not initiate anything. Since the coin has two faces, if one is success another suppose to be the failure. We are not here to make a probability to get the success and the failure while we toss the coin.

Our part is up to toss the coin, whether we get the success or the failure its not in our hand, but the way we take, its in our hand.

Our world is a classroom, whether its a success or its a failure there is a lesson always, the lesson to become the strong and face any circumstances. If we get the success then the lesson is to face the failure and the way to get more success. If we get the failure then the lesson is to analyse the factor to get success and to point out our mistakes.

Sometimes we suppose to get the success but due to some external factors we may get the failure, its not the failure up to us, since our part is a success but its a failure overall.

Finally come to the point, what we need? need to be the honest in our part, a single brick cannot build the bridge, but each good brick can be a part of good bridge.

Be the good brick, and take a part to build good bridge!

Every man creates a world of his own!

Every man creates a world of his own - sounds like strange, is that so?

But what is true, even though we depends on some one, we are the one who can create or change our own destiny! It doesn't mean that we should not be obedient to others. At the same time we should not lose our value. There is only one replacement for our role its none other than us! Since we born to live, we born to reach our destiny. Most of the time we lose ourselves in unwanted worldly things. What we feel is not the real, its just the reflection of our thoughts, what we heard, what we learned, what we smelled,...

One can taste some liquid and say its sour, some one taste the same and will say its sweet...what is real? how the same liquid can be the different taste, its nothing but our thoughts...

what is sweet, what is sour, what is salty... One can say its too sweet, but someone say its not much sweet... how it can be? its nothing but the signal from our brain our thoughts, then what is real?

Is that we born to live for worldly things or born to understand, identify the real joy? What we see now that may not exists tomorrow... If that is true what we seen yesterday, why its vanished now, it suppose to be exists now also! Is that means its not real? then what is real, where is it, how we can reach it...

This is the way I search something in this world everyday!...